Unstable Thaumatology
by InvaderL
Summary: Marked for rewrite, please read: After writing Pulse, and then it's sequel Apathy, I fee - In the ruins of Crystal City, a contaminated pool of hell, the sirens struggle to survive in the mess they created for themselves. Sunset Shimmer meanwhile, calls on her friends and crew to work and stop what the Sirens did from destroying all of Earth and possibly even Equestria.
1. Chapter 1 - Love and Loss

The gravel crunches under my feet as I trudge through this desolate hell. I barely found anything, this was almost a wasted trip until I managed to find a few things in the ruins of that hospital. Thankfully there wasn't anything dangerous there.

But I found what I need: Food, water and meds. Enough for the next day or two anyway. Then I'll have to come out again. I don't even know where to look at that point, but I have to find something. Anything just so we can last the next month or so it'll take for the magical resonance to calm down. Then… I audibly sigh. shifting the weight on my shoulder around.

I pull my hand up and peer under it, using it to block the sickly light from above; almost home. Just another half mile or so. _Home?_ A sad little voice mutters into my ear as I continue on. The wind is nearly throwing me off my feet and into the air, the trees are nothing but deathly rot.

The homes of families, the schools of children, the hospitals of the sick, the elderly, and the hopeful are all in ruin, their occupants starting to reek of the death that was so generously given to them without hesitation, without a thought to the consequences. Yes, this is my home. Our home.

I finally stumble over the small hill after struggling the nine foot incline, the roof of the house below has fallen in, the boards around it once vibrant, blinding white now a decaying gray.

Home.

I slide down the dusty slope; each stump and stone avoided with practiced ease. I nearly trip at the end, stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm getting weaker… I push open the creaky front door and walk slowly through the house, looking at each of the abandoned photos on the wall, each slowly disappearing every time I come here.

I touch the frame of one photo, the image is almost halfway sandblasted away from the raging winds and dust, but it's still somewhat viewable. A man, a woman and a small infant in their arms, a curl of blue hair on the small babe's head. What right have I to stare at these photos? These windows into a destroyed happiness? I take the photo off the wall gently and hold it between my gloved hands. What right have I to take this and save it from the destruction? I put stow it in my backpack, grabbing a few more with it. _None._

I continue through the house and into the once green backyard, then to the rusty plate metal shed. I slip inside, closing the door behind me before shuffling in place, finding my flashlight that is clipped to my backpack. I push the button up and it flickers on, I hope it's only the batteries dying. I use it's light to reach down and pull the sheet of ribbed aluminium open by the attached rope.

I step down and into the near pitch blackness, my boot covered feet feeling as I situate myself on the roughly constructed stairs. I bend over as I quietly close the hatch, pulling the rope through the hole and tying it. It wouldn't keep someone from getting in, but we'd know they were coming at least. I hope so anyway. I then start down the short flight of stairs, quickly reaching a door with a flickering light coming under it.

I unlock and open the door, wincing as it creaks, and quickly enter before closing and locking it. I peel my mask off, grunting and almost moaning as the relatively fresh air cools my face. My hood falls back as my hair is unleashed. I remain still, breathing slowly with my eyes closed. I just barely open my eyes and stare at the earthy ceiling. I unclip my backpack, letting it softly land beside my feet, my gloves soon accompany it.

A shift and a groan draws my full attention as I nigh bolt over to the source, "Hey…" I slow to a halt and take a knee beside the makeshift bed. I rest the back of my hand on her forehead, her temperature is getting almost cold to the touch. "You feeling any better?" I ask her as I look down at her gently. She scowls at me, wincing at that slight movement.

She coughs, "Can it, Adagio..."

"Love you too, Aria." I stroke her bangs out of her eyes gently, "How bad is it getting…?"

Aria frowns, looking away, "Don't give me your sympathy crap… And I don't think I can last another month if I'm completely honest Adagio, I already feel so weak…" She trails off.

I frown as I stand up, walking back to my pack. I open it and take out some of the food I found. "I brought you your favorite: Unmarked can of random color goo." I pry the lid open with the pale blue can opener we found a while back, back when Aria could still walk and when Sonata… "Ooo, this one is sorta orange brown. Yum yum." I gitter gleefully; a dry glee. I tip it into the first bowl I see and tap the bottom when it decides to be difficult. I grab up a spoon and wander back towards Aria.

Aria snorts quietly, "Your sense of humor is as stupid as always..."

I smile at her words. "And we both know you love it." I say, sitting down and holding the bowl for her.

Blank stare. "No. I don't." She glances at the bowl, "And you know that won't help."

I nod, "Yeah… But at least it's something, you would end up much worse if literally nothing were going into you."

She doesn't respond, so I know I've won. "Can you do it, or do you want me to help you?" I ask her softly, frowning a bit.

She sits up abruptly, much faster than she should have. She squeezes her eyes shut, holding her side. "I'm… not that pathetic... that I can't feed myself yet..." She mutters through labored breathes. She takes the bowl from me and I stand up, going to put everything were it needs to go. "Any sign of her?" She asks before stuffing a spoon of the mushy orange gunk into her mouth.

I hesitate, my whole body freezing as I process her words. "...Fortunately, no." If I actually found any signs of her, it would mean… She's getting as weak as or weaker than Aria.

Aria doesn't respond.

I sigh and sort through what I found, methodically putting everything in it's place. Medicine in the top right drawer. Food on the shelf. Photos… In my side table drawer. I refill my supplies, in case I have to rush out. "I think this might've been sweet potato at one point." Aria cuts into my organizing.

"Any good?"

"No." She snorts, "Why would you even ask? Nothing you gimme is ever good. Only Sonata got the tasty food somehow." I wince at the mention of her name. "I really wish you knew where she went to get food."

I continue organizing, answering her a bit later. "She made it from the same slop you're eating now."

Aria contemplates this. "You should learn how to cook."

"Why? So you can criticize that too?" I chuckle. "Just accept it Aria: you're never happy with anything."

She puts the bowl on the floor and lays back. "If I were happy I wouldn't have any drive to change. The only way to progress forward is to dislike where you are now. The moment I am happy with my situation, I won't want to change it. I'll become stagnate."

I stare at her for a moment, "When did you get so philosophical?"

"Phil did what now?" She honestly raises an eyebrow in confusion.

"There's my little sister." I mutter with a small smile.

Aria furrows her brow for a moment. "Wait...I'm the same age as you."

"I'm older by ten minutes." I say in a sing-song tone, my voice cracking at even the joking attempt to sing.

"Says you." She doesn't mention the crack. We never mention the cracks. "It's not like you rememeber back then, how do you know I'm not the oldest?"

"Because I'm oldest." I finish putting everything away and rest my hands at the base of my back, leaning into them.

Aria laughs a little. "Okay miss comedian, I say when we find Sonata and we all get better we find out a way to test this. Maybe there's some kinda magic or something to check this with." My back pops. "Although, with your cracking old bones, you might as well be our grand mother." She laughs through her nose to herself.

"That would make me oldest, so you just admitted it." I stick my tongue out, taking a seat next to the head of her bed.

And we laugh and talk. We laugh and talk the night away.

* * *

 _Dear Princess Twilight,_

 _I'm writing with a heavy heart I'm afraid. The reports have been confirmed by the local news networks. From the footage they showed on the news, I can confirm our suspicions:_

 _It's being caused by an insanely large, and self-creating magical instability._

 _What kind of magic I'm not sure of, but it's not Equestrian magic I don't think. The texture wasn't quite right, similar, but a distinct difference. I suspect it might be this world's magic, only, if Starswirl's theory of universal thaumaturgic birth and decay is correct, it has been activated by some sort of magic catalyst._

 _Please, come at once. I wish to speak in person about this particular theory I have if I can. It involves the future of both Equestria and Earth._

 _Sunset Shimmer_

* * *

 _If you enjoy the story, please view and support it on . (story/309507/unstable-thaumatology)_


	2. Chapter 2 - Hope?

"Sunset Shimmer!" Twilight yelled, running up and hugging me lightly. She releases me and smiles for a moment before frowning, "Come on, gather the others. We need to go over all the details."

"They're already waiting in the music room, minus Pinkie. She went home to check on her family, she'll be back soon though." I explain, turning and escorting her there. I hesitate before saying, "...Though this world's Twilight will be in attendance."

She looks away, "Have we decided on what will happen if we're in each others presence for an indeterminate amount of time? Last I remember: The debate going between nothing happening and total collapse of the thin veil dividing our worlds. I take it we've decided on nothing?" She fiddles with the hem of her skirt nervously.

I bite my lip, "We never reached an agreement on that. But this is on such a scale… If we don't get your input, especially this world's Twilight, we might not be able to stop it from tearing our worlds apart." I pause, outside the music room with my hand on the door knob. "Both of them." I open the door and let Twilight in.

I notice her momentarily lock eyes with Ms. Sparkle, as I've decided to call this world's Twilight while our Twi is around. "Okay, if you could go over everything we know?" She looks away from Sparkle, who looks back down, wiping her eyes, and glances between Applejack, Rainbow and everyone else, before finally landing on me.

I gulp ready myself, I take a breath and step up in front of the group, Twilight stepping into the group to give me space. "Roughly thirty-six hours ago, there was an… 'explosion'" I explain to the group, "It engulfed a radius of approximately one hundred and forty-nine kilometers around Crystal City and parts of surrounding towns." I look to Sparkle, "...Including Ms. Sparkle's hometown."

She sniffles before nodding in acknowledgment. Twilight gasps silently, looking at Sparkle sadly. "From the news reports," I cough slightly, closing my eyes, "Almost everyone caught in the radius of the blast was almost instantly…" I paused for the words, "...Destroyed."

I pull out my phone and bring up an image of the explosion, "The 'explosion' itself is a continuously dissipating spiral into the air. It tops out in a large funnel shape." I send the image to a TV I had Principle Celestia moved to the room just for the occasion.

Everyone stares quietly. Except Twilight, who steps closer and studies the screen. "See those lines?" I approach her and point out the lightning like streaks through the hazy blue tornado of power, "Can you tell what those are?"

She studies it closely for a moment, "...Are those…" She mumbles, to herself more than me, "...Thaumaturgic leylines?" She looks at me skeptically; I nod. She gasps, "But we can see them! They literally glowing! That much power, condensed..."

"Which is why it's so important for you to help us, even with the chance that you and Ms. Sparkle being in the room having a fifty-fifty chance of causing total collapse of our universes, I think with all of our minds put together we can think of some way to fix this." I explain with a sigh.

She shakes her head, "I don't even know where to start here." She leans back and runs a hand through her hair. "There are leylines streaking all across Equestria, but they've been there since time immemorial. They were too ancient to magically date even before Celestia or Luna were born." She starts to pace around, I step back in line with the group, watching her. She glances at the monitor with the image of the spire every now and then. "I can't even fathom to think about what would happen if they were moved or were forcibly placed into an already populated planet. Starswirl-"

"Starswirl theorized that ours were implanted in the world long before it cooled from it's molten state. I know." I cut in, causing her to look at me, "But the way I see it, that was like putting a spoon through pudding. Those leylines?" I gesture with my hand at the screen. "With that much power, and the fact that Earth is now a solid planet? It would be like a saw through styrofoam: It would tear the world apart, not to mention what it might do to the network of preexisting universes around this one." I let my hand fall to my side.

"What do you think we should do?" Twilight asks me hopefully, "I mean all of you, what do you think we should do? Any ideas you can think off, it doesn't matter how they sound in your head, no matter how ridiculous."

Everyone looks between the other, realizing they have to participate in magic nerd talk. "What if we just walk right into it?" Rainbow suggests.

"While the surrounding area is… relatively safe compared to when it first exploded," I flop my arms, "Going into it would probably tear you apart molecule by molecule. Not to mention the magical contamination in the surrounding area."

"Magical contamination, Dear?" Rarity chirps, "Could you explain what, exactly, that is?"

I sigh, "It's kinda like radiation but less effective. It won't travel through anything, but it'll kill any living cells it touches. Not to say it'll kill you instantly, but… You don't want to be around for the death. It'd be like rotting alive." I frown, as does everyone else, as I explain this.

"So if we dressed up in fancy suits or something we could just waltz right up to it then?" Applejack asks.

"Theoretically," Twilight nods. "Yes."

Sparkle suddenly looks up, just barely stopping herself from raising her hand. "What if we can get to them? Not enter the actual explosion, but just outside it's radius of destruction." She asks, then entwines her fingers in front of her. "Can we stop them from expanding more? At least temporarily until we can figure out something more permanent?"

Twilight furrows her brow, "I'm… Not sure. Maybe..." She snatches and notepad out of Fluttershy's hands and flips to a new page. She takes a pen into her mouth and scribbles on the page for a minute. "I kno' f'e can th'ap into f'hem in Equessth'ria-" I take the pen out of her mouth, much to her dismay. "I know we can tap into them in Equestria, and there have been cases of ponies draining entire leylines of all magic before too. Though they did recharge over the course of a few decades."

She paces quicker, "I need to get to the library in Cantorlot, the Starswirl wing might have something that could help, and I'll talk to the other Princesses." She gathers her notes from the notepad before giving it back to Fluttershy, "Sunset, keep that book on you at all times. I'll try to keep you posted as often as I can." She says before bolting out of the room, leaving everyone in shock.

"Uhm..." Rainbow croaks before clearing her throat, "Bye?"

I stare at the closed door before sighing and sitting down on the raised floor. "I hope she can find out what we can do..." I look at my hands, wishing them to turn to horns so I could at least route some of the immense power in the lines elsewhere. A futile effort, but I wouldn't feel this useless.

Sparkle stands up and walks over. She crouches down and looks me in the eyes. "She will." She smiles slightly, though the illusion of hope is broken by the tears left in her eyes. I hug her.

Rarity walks up and hugs us both, soon followed by Fluttershy and Applejack. ...Then eventually I see a tuft of rainbow hair peeking over everyone else. If nothing else, I will have my friends until the very end no matter what it takes.

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I still haven't found Sonata yet, I'm beginning to think if she hasn't… died or fallen ill like Aria, that she's purposely hiding from us. After our disagreement right before she left, I wouldn't call that much of a stretch._

 _Aria is getting much worse, her fever is spiking every day, reaching higher and higher. But antibiotics and any medicines I can scavenge from the nearby medical centers aren't helping. It's not an actual disease, it's caused by our dependency on magic. He body must be try to release antibodies to kill whatever is causing it it's magic deprivation, thinking it might be internally caused. But that's causing her body to tear itself apart and use more energy than she already would be using._

 _Not to mention the fever might kill her before the deprivation does._

 _Why I'm not as much affected by this I'm not sure, I believe it's because my medallion was stronger when they detonated from the surge those girls released when they blasted us and/or it managed to siphon some energy from the core when I used it to catalyze the reaction. Most likely it's the latter._

 _Losing hope,_

 _Adagio Dazzle_

 _P.S. I'm so sorry, to everyone. To Aria. To myself. ...To Sonata._


	3. Chapter 3 - Monster

We had ran out of food again, sooner than I had hoped. It only took a day unfortunately. So I had to go out again. Now I have a problem. I have things I like to avoid when I go out.

One: People. Two: Whatever mutated, dying creature wanderers out of The Core. And Three: Falling asleep or unconscious.

Right now, I can hear them breathing, so it's either rule one or two. At first I thought it was the wind, but it's too regular. The thin layer of latex mask hugging my face and neck pinches as I look around cautiously. It's the mask me and Sonata found at that police station, a very basic gas mask, hence why I'm traveling closer to the Core than I usually like to, I can't find anything any closer to home.

I crouch down and grasp my hand around a ragged metal reinforcement bar on the top of the rubble. I stand up quietly, shifting the mid-weight bit around in my hand. Around this corner. I slither against the wall, then peer around the edge. I see a small bare, blotchy hand grasping around out from under a pile of rubble, trying to move some of it; though it's failing horribly. A basement? Probably for maintaining the old indoor heating and cooling. What building was this again? "Hellooo…?" A hopeless little voice calls out from the rubble. Do I risk being seen? What if it's a trap?

My hand tightens around my twisted metal stake, "How many are down there?" I call out in an almost monotone, remaining hidden.

"Hello?" The girly voice peaks up, ending in a wet cough. "Who's there?" She croaks. Her voice sounds very dry, like she hasn't drunken anything in a few days.

"How many of you is down there?" I repeat. She could very well lie, even if she answers. I glance around: The way back has a fifty-fifty chance of being an ambush in and of itself, there's a window on my right; per-shattered. A quick and silent getaway if things go down. Then there's always the stairs a hall back.

"Just me really.. A couple of my teachers..." I perk an eyebrow as she takes a moment, breathing heavily. "They were further down here. They haven't been saying much though, I think they got out somewhere and went to get help. Are you here to help me?"

I almost want to just bolt. This isn't sitting right with me, I feel sick and nervous. I carefully step out around the corner and cross from stone to stone, making sure none will make a noise. I hunch down, peering from a safe distance into the hole. "You look like a really big bug thing." A little face peers from the dark hole, coughing as she laughs.

Elementary School. "You must've been down there for at least two weeks. Only way you might have survived the harmony core's birth at least." I mutter to myself more than her. Bad habit, gotta stop it; it'll get me in big trouble one day, I know it. "What's your name?" I address her this time, speaking as clearly as I can through this mask.

"I'm Sunny, Sunny Smiles." She gets closer to the opening, revealing her light yellow tinged pale skin and bright, vibrant blue eyes. "Are you here to help me?" She asks, tilting her head. I eye the rubble, I could probably move it. She would never survive being outside of there though, not to say she'd survive down there either. I can already see it, her cheeks are brown and flaking away in places. There's black blotches all over her arms, where the skin and everything under it is already dead.

I hesitate only a moment. "Yes, I'm here to help."

Her face lights up, "Really?" I nod.

I stand up, "...Let me find something to get you out." I say as I walk back to the corner, eying the way I came. I could just leave, not do what I know is right. Instead, I reach down and struggle to pick up a nearby two-by-four board. My strength is indeed draining, I can't live in that illusion any longer that I'm fine, that I won't be affected by the deprivation of magical energies constantly flowing through my veins. Eventually I'll be bedridden, just like Aria… I pull the board across the rubble to the hole, "Back up." I tell her, feeding a fourth of the board under the rubble.

I put all my weight on the other end, seesawing the rubble up. I grunt before shoving into the beam, pushing the block of cement back, clearing a larger opening in the hole. I pant, dropping the board as I collapse on my butt, leaning against an only partially destroyed wall.

"Miss…?" The girl calls out from the hole.

I groan, sitting up and almost crawling to the edge. "Yeah… C'mon." I gesture her over.

"Please..." She coughs, gagging on some liquid inside her before walking over. "I'm so hungry, do you have any food…?" Her young eyes look up at me with hope, her face filthy and dying. Skin flaking away in black specks. Her hair, almost certainly a long, flowing bright blue, now pale, falling out and her scalp molting. I hesitate again, then nod and pick her up out of the cleared hole. I sit her down gently on the rubble, her head flicks around as fast as she can allow without it being painful, I click my light on and flash it around in the hole, looking for something useful. Nothing but this putrid smell that I don't want to think about.

I click the light, reattaching it to my pack and huff as I lean back against the wall from earlier. I close my eyes, seeing stars. I used too much energy… Not again, never again. I can't do that again, or I won't make it back to Aria.

A heaving, sputtering cough from my left catches my attention, I open my eyes slowly and glance over to the small girl. She's coughing up blood. I breathe slowly, finally catching my breath and regaining my senses.

She wipes her hand on her slightly torn and dirty pants leg, before crawling over. "Thank you..." She murmurs.

I close my eyes, emptying myself. "Yeah. No problem." I hear my voice tell her. I sit up and wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly. "It'll be okay." I pause. "Soon."

She squeezes her half of the hug, and I squeeze my hug back around her neck.

Then I squeeze tighter. And tighter. I feel her start to struggle to get out of my arms but I just push the thought away as I start to sing an old, old lullaby. "Hush now..." My voice croaks at even the thought of singing. "Quiet now… It's time to lay your sleepy head..."

I vaguely notice her finger nails trying to dig through my coat arms; trying to pry my arms from her. "Hush now, quiet now." I speed up the song, squeezing so tight the muscles my arms burn and scream at me to stop. Her fingers start slipping from my arms, her entire body relaxi-No. Not relaxing, deflating. "It's time to go to bed..." I finally let my tears out, they fill the little space between my mask and my face, leaving me filling wet and sticky, but I don't care.

Her body is limp in my arms, but I don't let go. I just sit there, holding an already rotting corpse of another victim of my foolishness and selfishness, bathing her in my self pity. What the hell kind of monster am I?

* * *

 _Dear Princess Twilight,_

 _You need to hurry, the government here is mobilizing and I think they're planning to do something really drastic and really stupid. They have the perimeter of the… We need a name for it. How about… Hey Twilight, Rainbow here. I think we should call it something really awesome. How about 'The Rainbow Sector'? Catchy right?_

 _Sorry about that, I'm back(Sunset I mean). But, anyway, how about The Center? Because it's technically the center of this universe's magic, I feel that might be an apt name for it._

 _Sorry, got off topic. The government here has the perimeter of The Center closed off. In fact, some of the fencing goes right by Sweet Apple Acres. I have Applejack looking around there to see if there's a way to get in if we need to. I think she has Big Mac helping._

 _Your student of Friendship Magic and friend,_

 _Sunset Shimmer_


	4. Mini-Chapter 1 - Night

I sipped on my tea, shuddering as the warm drink trickled down my throat. I glanced back at what I was reading. '...And then she turned around, and there it was, the Hash Sli-' The entire room quaked. I shriked, dropping my book as my hot tea spilled in my lap. I tried to stand up, but the floor kept moving and shaking and waving under my feet, causing me to tumble to the floor.

I heard someone else nearby screeching. Then as suddenly as it started, it stopped. I panted for a moment, regaining my breath, then I stumbled to my feet and to the window. I just stared at the blinding pillar of light in the distance, a stark contrast to the fading light in the evening sky. Then it expanded, miles and miles a second. My eyes widened as I jumped back from the window, dashing for my-The window shattered in. I felt a million little needles shredding through all the skin on my legs, arms and back as I was thrown above my bed into the wall.

I covered my face, huddling into the fetal position. The wind burned like fire, pebbles and bits of debris shotgunned against my arm hiding my face. Then the winds died and the heat dissipated and I slid the last inch down the wall, touching on my tattered mattress and quilts. I panted, shuddering and sobbing from pain and fear. I dared not move my arms. "Sunset?!" I heard a voice call, and footsteps pounding through my home.

I flinched, hugging myself almost tighter. Then I peaked through my arms into the serene around me. The world had all but paused in it's destruction. My body moves on it's own accord, the footsteps pounding from room to room downstairs. I crawl at snails pace across my floored bed, tumbling the less than half a foot distance from the mattress to the glass covered floor when one of my arms failed to old me.

I screeched as more glass dug it's way into my arms but I only sped up dragging myself to my bare feet, panting and tears streaming I stepped horrendously slow towards the hole in my wall where the window was, now a gaping maw, the wood and glass like jagged teeth. I grip my limp arm to my side as I stare at the spiraling blue spire reaching into the heavens, as though to drag the stars and sky into it's swirling whirlpool like topping.

"Sunset!" I heard a girl call from so very far away. Lightning streaked out from the spiral, striking through mountains, each destroying another chunk of my new home. A hand clamped onto my limp arm's shoulder and I screeched, yanking back and falling back into a small area of surviving wall . I was panicking, I couldn't even comprehend her face, it was just a blur of unnamed colors. I flung my one arm at her, trying to get away for some reason I didn't remember, not even then.

...Then she grabbed my face and pointed it at her; forced it to hers. I nearly growled to get away, then I just stared. Her face still unnamed, her colors still drawing a blank. But I recognized her, I trusted her. She stayed there. We both did, staring at each other. Red. I saw a color sliding down her face, it was red. As I remembered more and more about her, she withered away in front of me. Each detail about her I remembered, it then died on her.

Then I remembered her name, and her face whilted, fluttering away in the breeze. I reached out, but she seemed infinitely out of reach. I tried to scream, tried to call her name. My voice died as I remembered it. The skin fell from her face and her skull grinned at me, with glowing red eyes.

"TWILIGHT!" I tumble from my bed, in a panic. I can't breath, I can only stumble to my feet and feel around for the light. A hotel room. I breath for a moment, looking around before running to the window and nearly pulled the curtains from the wall as I yank them open. Miles and miles away, I see the spire. My nightmare come to life.

Or my life came to my nightmares.


	5. Chapter 4 - Preparations

I wonder what kind of bird that is? It's kinda blue-ish. Yellow beak. "Sunset?" Twilight asks, breaking my train of thought.

"Huh?" I almost flinch, looking away from the window and to her.

"I asked what you thought about..." She trails off, fiddling with her cuffs and looking down. She looks back up at me "...Are you okay?"

I hesitate, my eyes shooting back to the window for only an instant. "I… Yeah, I'm fine." I lean up and sigh, "Sorry I was just thinking about some stuff. What were you saying?"

She stares at me for a moment before taking off her glasses and beginning to wipe them off, "I know that I'm… That I'm not _your_ Twilight." When she emphasizes 'your' I frown. "But I still see you as my friend, I still care and want to help you." She puts her glasses back on, "...I just want to earn all of your trust… You, Rainbow, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie I mean." She sighs.

I stand up to her level, "Twilight, I do trust you. We all do. If we didn't, why would I pick you to help with this?" I reach to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Me and the other Twilight, who might I add, got to keep her first name, as my moderator." She mutters, backing away from my hand and turning away from me, just a touch of hurt seeping into her voice.

I shake my head and place my hand on her shoulder anyway; she flinches at my touch. "Twilight-"

"Don't you mean 'Ms. Sparkle'?" She murmurs.

I ignore her. "Twilight, it had to be one of you. It would've just been more confusing than it already was." I plead with her, squeezing her shoulder lightly. I move my mouth, thinking of the next words to put through it. "I just flipped a coin on it, honest."

She sighs, "...I know, sorry, I'm a little on edge lately..."

I nod, even though she can't see it. Given everything that's happening with her… Yeah... "And I understand that. From now on I'll… I'll call the other Twilight Princess Twilight. Okay?" I say as I give her a hug, which she returns. "And really, I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind, to which I'm sure you can relate."

She nods lightly. "Okay.. Thanks."

"And if you ever want to talk about… You know… I'm here to listen, any of our friends are." We separate just as my book vibrates. Twilight fixes her glasses as I go over and open my book and immediately groan. "Nothing!" I close the book and drop it back on the table in frustration.

"It's only been a day, we can't expect all the answers." Twilight leans over the map we have set up on the table, lining where the military has set up camp around The Center.

The door slides open and Rainbow, followed by Fluttershy, walks up. "Hey guys. Any news?" She closes the door after them.

"Just that there's no news." I tell them. "Any word from Applejack and Big Mac?"

"Yeah, that's why we're here." She says, walking over to the map. "Right there," She pokes the map, "AJ and Big Mac said they found a small gap in security there. They don't know how long it'll stay though, so if we're going in there… The sooner the easier it'll be." She grins, "I personally think we should run in head first and kick that thing's sorry can."

I give her this look, that look you give to the guy who suggests you split up in a horror film. "It's not even a physical thing Rainbow, it's a magical expulsion from a hyper-condensed material of pure ene-" I try to explain to her, hoping to get through to her common sense.

"Whoa whoa whoa, you know I don't know egghead speak." She waves me off. I fail miserably as her ego just assumes she's right anyway.

My book vibrates again. I pick it up and scoff. "Yeah well good luck dealing with the magical contaminants." I say snidely, taking pride when she frown in remembrance. "What about Rarity? Does she have an idea for safety clothing if we need to go in there?"

"Maybe, not sure. When we called her she said she'd be right over." Rainbow shrugs.

I open the book and immediately recognize the hornwriting. "Hey uh.. Guys, I'll be right back." I murmur absently as I start for the door.

"Wait, what's wrong? Is there nothing we can do?" Twilight asks, panicking as she runs over and starts to look at the book.

I close it, keeping a finger in the page. "No, no, nothing like that. Just a letter from… Someone I haven't heard from in a long time." I duck out of the room before they can ask anymore questions and rush to the girls room. The school is empty besides us, everyone gone home to spend what might be their last few days with their loved ones. So I won't be disturbed.

I pushed through the door and place the book on the sink counter, opening it immediately.

* * *

 _Dear Sunset Shimmer,_

 _When you were still my pupil, I asked you to do many, many things that the average pony considered dangerous. I asked you to personally visit and tour Tartarus unsupervised, because I believed that you would learn something. I sent you to Manehatten when it was being swarmed by Chimeras to help sedate the situation. Which you did in spectacular fashion might I add; without a single spell cast and without a single casualty from my little ponies or the Chimeras, you managed to bring peace back to the city._

 _Which, when put into perspective of what I'm about to ask you to do, it still falls into the category of completely ludicrous. Please know that I would never want to send you into danger if it could be helped, never once have I ever wished harm to you, Sunset. Not even when you attacked me out of rage and stormed out of the castle that one night all those moons ago._

 _But me, Twilight, Princess Cadence and Princess Luna have come to the decision that you have to go into the contaminated area and try to reach the center. We believe that whatever caused the thaumatic energies to become unstable to such a drastic point was it being catalyzed with an Equestrian magical artifact. It was probably forced into the physical manifestation of the Harmony Core for that world. We realize this term will likely mean nothing to you, as Twilight didn't even know what it meant. She will explain it when she arrives with your supplies. But please understand that this is not you or your friends' fault. Nor is it Twilight's or mine. We are not sure what might have caused it, but what's important is that the affects will be catastrophic to both of our worlds if you don't find a way to separate the magical device and the Harmony Core._

 _And I'm sorry. For not writing to you much sooner, nor on a more cheerful note. When you stablize the Harmony Core, I would like it if you came through the portal and we had a personal dinner in Twilight's Castle with her and her friends._

 _Your former teacher and former mentor,_

 _Princess Celestia_

* * *

I reread the letter twice before I close the book and leave the room. How am I supposed to respond to that? I don't even know where to begin! I sigh and sit down against the wall, running a hand through my head. Her hornwriting hasn't changed, not a bit. It's just like her old letters.

"Sunset darling?" Rarity carts a… Well a cart in front of me.

"Oh hey." I stand up and smile at her. "What's that?" Gesturing to her covered cart.

"I'll show you all in a minute. Everything alright dear?" She says before pausing. "Bad news from Princess Twilight?" She glances nervously at the book.

I grab up the book, "Not exactly… Do you have an idea for what we can wear to keep us safe in there?"

She nods. "Yes," She sighs, gesturing to the cart. "I didn't have the time or the idea to really spruce them up to be less… Ew." Her lip curls slightly at what I imagine is the thought of the outfits under the cover. "But I have a few things here that cover entire bodies in a relatively thick coating."

I sigh, "Good." Tightening my grip on the book, I walk over beside her. "I have an announcement to make too." I pull out my phone and text AJ and Pinkie, telling them to get here as soon as possible. She nods and we make our way back to the class room, where AJ is talking with Rainbow and Twilight is marking spots on the map and scratching notes in her notepad. "Applejack." I call out.

She turns and tips her hat. "Heyya Sunset. Rainbow tell you about them openings me and 'Mac found?" She asks, to which I nod.

"Yeah. You heard from Pinkie?" I glance back as Rarity slides her cart in and closes the door. "Me and Rarity have a couple things to share with all of you."

"Yeah, 'Ah passed her on the way here, she was just heading home to grab somethin' and she'd be right over." Applejack smiles lightly. I sigh and nod at her. I still don't know exactly how to respond to Celestia, but I turn to Twilight and ask, "Hey, can I borrow your pen for a second?"

She hands it over without even glancing at me, her eyes glued to the map. I walk over and sit at a desk, opening the book to the next page. I place it on the desk and prepare to start writing something. 'Dear Princess' "Helloooooooo~!" Pinkie's voice cuts through my train of thought before dicing it into a confusion salad. She quite literally bounces into the room, cheerful beyond any crisis for all life in both known universes.

I almost thank her as I close the book and stand up. "Hey Pinkie." I greet with a smile before walking to the map table with the others. "Now that we're all here… Rarity? You had something to show us all?" I shove the spotlight on Rarity while I work on my words mentally.

"Ah yes," She pushes the cart over as Pinkie bounds up to the table as well. "As I told Sunset in the hall, I found a number of outfits that would probably protect us if we need to go into the uh.." She trails off, looking for words.

"The Center." I interrupt, saving everyone from more confusion if she tried to come up with another name for it. "I've decided to call it The Center. But Princess Celestia wrote to me saying it was something called a Harmony Core that was at the actual center of all this, so I'm not sure if I should keep calling it The Center or not." I trail off awkwardly.

"Yes. Er.. Quite." Rarity laughs blankly, obviously entirely lost. "As I was saying, they would protect us in the event that we have to go into this er… Center." She unveils the cart, revealing eight tan and brown outfits. She was right about not having the time to style them, otherwise they wouldn't be such… Wholesomely Earthy colors. "I didn't want to add anything or try to fix them up any, for that might compromise the safety of the outfits." She holds one up, revealing it to be a helmet-less hazmat suit.

I take it from her, turning it around. Twilight then decides to voice all of our thoughts. "...Where did you get professional grade hazmat suits?" She too walks up and picks one up, looking it over.

She laughs a bit, scratching the back of her head. "Well my father is a rather… Peculiar man. He and Mother collect a lot of strange things during their 'adventures'." She picks another up and pulls the right arm inside out, revealing a fading white patch with information on it. "These aren't exactly new, nor would I trust them to be entirely water proof. They're from a good decade ago if I'm honest. But on such short notice..." She trails off, looking nervously at the outfit in her hands.

I place a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm sure they'll be fine." I smile at her as reassuringly as I can muster. "Now we just need a hood of some sort that will protect our head and neck." I mumble as I place the suit back on the cart, as does Twilight after folding her's up first.

"Yes, that's true." Rarity hums to me. "But enough with what I had to say. Sunset? You had something to announce as well?"

I sigh and nod. "Yeah." I glance one last time at the book before I begin. "Not long ago, I got a letter from Princess Celestia, as I mentioned in passing a moment ago." I walk over to the map and lean over it. "We have to go in." They all look immediately nervous and afraid, even Pinkie looks a tad less happy. "Princess Twilight and the other princesses have come to the conclusion that the cause of this is an Equestrian magical artifact somehow being attached to this world's Harmony Core, which I have no knowledge about at all." I say, before they can ask the question I'm waiting to find the answer for. "Applejack? Could you show us where you found those gaps in the security around The Center?"

She nods. "Can do." She walks around the table and I hand her the pen. She then circles a small portion of the map just northwest of Sweet Apple Acres. "Right there. Me and Big Mac managed to find a good hundred ta' two hundred feet gap in patrol around here."

We all nod. "Twilight? You… You know the area around The Center best. What do you think is the best route?"

If my subtle reminder to her dead family bothered her, she didn't let it show. "I have a few ideas. Give me some time to calculate the best one." I nod and look to Pinkie. "Pinkie what have" I pause before trying again. "What are…" I pause again, my finger pointing at her. I think. Some more thinking. I think even more. Everyone starts to stare. "...What are you supposed to be doing again?"

"I dunno." She shrugs with a smile.

I groan, covering my face with my hand. "I've seen you with all sorts of weird stuff before. Do you have anything that might help us in there?" I ask desperately. She nods rapidly. "Great." I sigh. "Fluttershy? Can you gather enough food and clean water to get us through at least two weeks? I have no idea how long we'll be in there."

"I-I can try." She gulps. "I need to f-find someone who can watch after my animals until we get back too..."

"I'll ask Sweetie if she and the Crusaders can do it." Rarity says before I even have to think of anyone.

"AJ and Rainbow can work on finding us all something to defend ourselves with, we can't just depend on the Elements this time. I know for a fact that it's going to be dangerous." They high five and nod at me. I close my eyes and sigh partially out of relief. "Alright. We all have our jobs."

"What about you?" Twilight asks, looking up from the map.

I glance over at her, she has an almost emotionless expression. "I'm gonna send a letter to the Princesses and then I'm gonna help you out with the route." I smile at her, to which she only nods and looks back at the paper.

I frown. Then everyone disperses. Leaving me, Twilight and the book alone. I shake my head and walk over to the book staring at it nervously. Then I sit down and open it to the page that I started earlier.

* * *

 _Dear Princess Celestia,_

 _I read your letter and I already have the girls working on getting everything ready to enter The Center as I've begun to call the zone that the Harmony Core is affecting. But please, do not praise me for those things. As far as I am concerned, those are the acts of a pony long dead. Those were the acts of a power hungry pony, not worthy of your praise._

 _I also realize that you never wished harm on me, that you only ever wanted what was best for me. I know that I was so foolish back then, I'm never going to forget how foolish I was. I'll never stop apologizing for it either._

 _I understand. I will complete my mission your highness._

 _...I'm also sorry. I could have written Twilight to give you a missive from me at any point, but I didn't. Not from negligence, nor from spite. But from fear and shame. In my mind; my heart, I only saw your response as being one of hurt, or anger. I was afraid what you thought of me after all I had done to alienate myself from you and all of Equestria. Please understand._

 _Your former student,_

 _Sunset Shimmer_

* * *

I finish the letter and close the book with a sigh. I see Twilight staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but when I turn to look at her she immediately acts like she'd never stopped working. I gulp as I find my words. "Tw-Twilight?"

She jumps at my voice, looking up almost guiltily. "Yes?"

I twirl my fingers together before smacking them on the desk. I stand up and walk over, where I gesture her to take a seat on the stage. I sit down; as does she next to me. "Last night… I had a nightmare." I begin.

She shakes her head. "Sunset, you don't have to tell me if you don't want-"

"No." I tell her firmly. "I want to tell you. Just listen okay?" She nods. I then retell my nightmare from last night.

* * *

 _(Excerpt from the Diary of Adagio Dazzle – One day post-Battle of the Bands)_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Yesterday… Those CHS girls shattered our pendants by over loading them with Equestrian magic. When we examined them, they showed only the slightest signs of being capable of holding any magic, as we managed to squeeze a little out. But we have all come to the same realization: We're going to die, if we cannot get them repaired, which in this world is all but impossible. Or if we can't find a different source of magic to feed off of._

 _Tomorrow we will head to the local library. Perhaps we can find something about this world's latent magic._

 _Adagio Dazzle_


	6. Mini-Chapter 2 - Hell

"Are you sure this is the place Adagio?" Aria asked me, skeptical to my leadership skills as always.

"Of course it is. I wouldn't bring you idiots here if it wasn't." I muttered in annoyance, curving around the jagged rocks as best as I can, Aria and Sonata in tow.

"Adagioooooo..." Sonata whined. I tried to ignore her. "Adagiooo~!" She whined louder.

"What?" I sneered, even though she can't see my face.

"Are we there yet?" She whined some more.

"Shut up." Aria smacked the back of Sonata's head, surprisingly able to move her arms in this caved in portion of the temple.

"No, we are not there. Why would you think we're there?" I asked her, silently thanking Aria. I swear, sometimes I wish we left Sonata in that damn cave all those years ago. Sometimes.

Most of the time. "I dunno." Every time she opens her mouth.

I groaned and finally pushed out into a large opening. "Finally..." I grunted, catching my breath. I took a moment to step forward and look around. The walls of this chamber are carved all over, ethereal images of god-likes and mages, creatures and monsters all wielding the powers humans only had in their dreams now. Some depicted even the god-likes forming the moon from nothing; of them calling the light out of the pitch the world once existed in, in the form of the sun. Then, above the only door in the chamber, there is a red circle. "That's what we're here for." I almost breathed the words out, stepping towards it.

"Great. Lets hurry up." Aria shoved pass me, dragging Sonata by the arm.

"Why did they lock all this power away?" I asked, starting to walk. Though still behind them, I can only study the images along the walls in awe-struck confusion. "Did they fear what their fellow man would do with it? Are humans that destructive?"

"Who cares, I'm starving." Aria yelled from the next corridor, "Hurry up, you can gawk at the stupid drawings later."

I sighed. "And you wonder why you're not in charge you impatient little..." I grumbled, following after them. I steped into the next hall, the walls of this one depicts the process man went through to seal the core. Each inscribed with some ancient language, telling of the highest levels of arcane prowess I never thought possible. I caught up to Aria and Sonata; they had stopped to catch their breath. "You two okay?" I asked, concern seeping into my tone.

"Go to hell..." Aria said between breaths. And like that I didn't care.

I walked pass her, purposely shoving her aside as I did. "Likewise." I then walked into the next room and gasp. "It's… Huge." I say as I stand in awe. I thought it wouldn't be nearly this big. The carvings showed people being half it's size… Were they bigger due to it's influence back then? I start to wonder what would happen if it were unsealed entirely, but I ignore those useless thoughts. We were just going to tap into it and leave until we could find a more… accessible source of food. Assuming it didn't repair our medallions that is.

"Whoa." Aria whistled, stepping up next to me. "So what do we gotta do?"

I groaned, "I explained this to you already." I look back at Sonata. "Give me your medallion, seeing as Aria can't remember, I'll fix yours with mine and let her figure it out."

"Hey!" Aria yelled, but she was too tired to do anything.

Sonata walked up and gave me her medallion, "But I don't remember either!"

"I never expected you to remember," I snatched the little baggie of her medallion's parts. "you have a brain made of peanut butter." I muttered, rolling my eyes.

She licked her lips, "I love peanut butter."

"Of course you do." I walked towards the core, shifting her medallion pieces in my hand as I pulled my own out of my pocket. I felt it, even from this far away. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled, with each step my field of view warped, just slightly. The thousands of tons of unknown metal chains around it shimmered, sparks zapping between them. Something in me noticed then exactly what I was approaching; the actual size of what this was.

Not it's physical size, but just how immense it was. To approach that much power… It reminded me of when Starswirl approached us when we stormed the royal palace. When we were standing in between him and the royal sisters, each with their magic charged to the max. We thought we were going to trample them, like they were nothing compared to us. We never imagined just how much power they had. But this… Was nothing like that. They made me feel small. This made me feel nonexistent; like I was approaching an actual god to beg for my life.

"Adagio?" Sonata called from what seemed like an eternity away. I turned to her, just now realizing I was hyperventilating and tears were streaming down my face. She just stared at me, even Aria looked concerned. I shook my head and looked back at it.

I forced my mouth closed and gulped my saliva down so forcefully it hurt. I took another step and the world died away, all I could see was the blood red wall of power in front of me. It consumed me. I couldn't scream; I couldn't run away. And then it screamed, I thought it screamed. Maybe it didn't. Then I was standing in front of it again, so much closer than I wanted to be. My throat felt raw and dry; it burned. I opened my mouth to talk, but my voice was rough and dying.

I could reach out and touch it now, but I wanted to run. I heard the whispered screams of my companions, but I dared not turn around, I dared not risk staring into… Whatever that was again. My only option was… But my hand was already on it by the time I realized I had no other option. It felt like solid water, slimy and dry. I pulled my hand back and squeezed it before shifting the gemstones from my and Sonata's medallions into each hand.

I licked my lips before I placed Sonata's medallion onto the surface. It rippled around and through my hand without touching it. I didn't feel it, but I felt it feel me. It touched my very being, something far deeper than my physical form. I shuddered before placing mine on it too. Bolts of pure magic arced between the two gems, searing my hands. My raw throat unleashed a fresh screech as I pulled my entire body away, but my hands were melding into the core. I pulled harder and harder and I heard Sonata and Aria screaming my name growing louder, then I realized why I couldn't hear them. The chains were whining and creaking, thousands upon tens of thousands of tons of metal creaking and screaming as they were over powered.

Then the skin on my hands stretched and tore, most of our now molten gemstones melding to what was left of my skin. I tumbled back as my hands spurted blood all over me. I shoved the bleeding things onto the dirty, crumbling stone ground, sending more pain spiking through me, but I shoved up and ran. Aria and Sonata grabbed me and had to lift me into the air and hold every limb on my body to keep me from escaping. "Adagio!" Aria screamed as I kneed her in the jaw, "Calm down! You're okay! It's over!"

But I just ignored her and kept screaming and struggling to get away from them, to get away from my friends… My family. I tasted blood as they threw me on the ground and held me still. I heaved and pushed on them before collapsing from exhaustion. My eyes were wide as I panted non-stop, failing to breath. I felt like I was drowning and hyperventilating at the same time. "Adagio?" Aria called to me again, now that everything had calmed down.

My eyes twitched as I glanced down at her, she looked terrified. I'd never seen her so afraid. "What just happened?!" She panted with me but still managed to yell, she and Sonata were so afraid as I sat there, tasting my own blood and being covered in it at the same time. They started to get up, afraid the moment they let me go I'd get up and run. But that was pointless. No matter how far I ran, I couldn't ever escape that. They sat next to me, Aria held my hand with Sonata's gem melted to it. "What the hell..." She whispered to herself, being as careful as she could with my hand. It felt like she was beating it into the ground none-the-less.

"A-Are you okay, Adagio…?" Sonata asked. I would've normally yelled at her how stupid that was to ask, but I couldn't. I just looked over at her, where she was just sitting there with tears on her cheeks and her eyes wide.

I opened my mouth, but words never came out. Then I felt it again. The hair on my neck stood on end. They felt it too, each of them shuddered and stilled. Their eyes were wide as they felt just the edge of it's influence. "...R...u...n..." I forced air out of my mouth, trying to form words without my vocal cords. They couldn't hear me. I twitched as it began creeping into my mind again, I could feel it in my mind, playing inside of me. This perversion of my mind again, I couldn't let it again. I sat up and smacked my bloody hands on each of them, shaking them and slapping them into reality again.

As they realized where they were, who I was. They realized what I wanted from them. They helped me to my feet, each of them on either side, and then we ran.

* * *

Again, if you want to support this fic in the best way possible? Just go like it on fimfiction, please. It would mean a whole lot and it doesn't use much of your time.


	7. Chapter 5 - Whisper

I breath slowly, not wanting to scream this time. Every time I sleep, I remember that day. My hands remember that day. The magic that melted mine and Sonata's medallions made my hands scar over faster than they should've, but the pain… I will never forget that pain. I slowly open my eyes and see nothing but pale blue hair through my smudged goggles.

I shoot up, "Sonata!" I yell, my voice muffled by my mask. For one small second, I smile. I feel hope and happiness flood into me. Then I fall back in shock. "Wha…" I look around. Congealing blood drops are sticking to my coat. I'm laying on the ground in a destroyed building. "Huh?" I look around, "Sunny?" I call out, but her body is no where to be seen. Not even back in the hole. Nothing. Gone.

 _Murderer._ A little voice in my head mutters in my ear. My breaths come out broken, my body shaking. I close my eyes and try to blindly stumble to my feet. But if she's gone, maybe she's alive. Maybe, I didn't kill her. Is that really a thing to hope though? To leave her to die a hellish death, so I can spare myself the title of murderer?

I stumble away from my sleeping spot; knowing deep within the back of my mind I have broken one of my three rules. I trip and fall back on the rumble and wince when a bit of rubble hits right into my spine. I breathe out deeply before opening my eyes and staring up, the sun is setting. I frown, I've been here for hours and I don't have anything to show for it. I have to hurry and find something before I worry Aria too much. Last thing I want is her trying to find me and getting hurt in the process.

I don't glance back for Sunny again as I leave the school ruins and shuffle closer to the Core. I can feel it tickling at my mind already, even from this far away. It's not enough for it to do anything too severe thankfully. I feel like it might have had a figurative hand in that... 'nightmare' though, even though I've had it before. Lived it before. The Core played with your mind, not in a fun way either. I know that going close enough for it to influence me is dangerous, but I have to find something for us to eat.

The destructive is even worse here, obviously. Most of the houses are ash and brick piles, I've picked through the debris before, there's rarely ever an intact fridge, normally they're already contaminated. The only food I've found to be predictably safe from the contaminants is canned foods, or anything in a similar container. Jarred is also fine most of the time, but glass surviving all this.. Nigh impossible.

I spy what appears to be a half standing shopping center. By half standing, I mean half of it has caved in and the other looks like it's being held up by toothpicks. I start towards it, though I don't move faster. I can't waste the energy to move faster unless I have to. As I approach the store, I notice another structure down the street, and another just further from the next. If I can't find anything in these, I'll head back and come back out tomorrow.

I was right, this is a shopping center. Though, not for food. A shoe store. "Dammit..." I mumble.

"Are you coming yet?"

I throw my gaze towards the voice, almost tumbling back in the process. I find no one there. The Core is starting to play tricks on me again, that's it. Has to be. My eye twitches left to right though, I'm becoming more paranoid as time goes on. Is that a side effect from The Core's influence, or from my own sanity failing me?

I walk backwards, still scanning the horizon. Can never be too careful, especially this much closer to The Core. I turn around and start towards the next structure, then I stop. What if there's actually something in this store that's useful? I turn around and stare at it in thought. Maybe in the back? I glance at the next building; I think it's a bank. Even less likely to help. I don't know what the next building down is after that, but given my string of luck, this might be my best option.

I take a deep breath and sigh, then start walking back to the store. I step through the shattered glass door, the glass on the floor crunches into even small bits under my boots. I look around, the shoes are all contaminated most likely, not to mention they're all roasted and torn to shreds. I walk past them all, only pausing to see a leg and shoe sticking out from behind the counter, flies buzzing around it. I look away and step back into the back of the store and groan, everything that might be useful is either crushed, burned, or boxed up in crates.

Upon turning around, I still see nothing useful at all. Not even a crumpled potato chip bag, even though that isn't exactly edible. I'm almost surprised at how empty this place is. I growl in frustration before leaving. "Heheheh!" I hear a giggle to my left. I look: Nothing. I snort before leaving the store and heading down the road towards the next building. Called it, definitely a bank. Part of me doesn't even want to go in, but that part gives up at the idea that there might be something in there useful.

I push on the front door and it falls out of it's frame. Dust blows up from the ground, fluttering about in the air. I step across it, waving the dust away as I cross the filthy room to the front counter. Most of the glass is somewhat… Less broken than the other building's glass, probably due to the building's stone construction. I glance along the walls, looking for an already broken panel. I notice one at the end of the room and walk to it, then promptly step up on the counter and through it. I drop down and check under the counter: Alarm buttons here, rubbish bins over there, but the only thing I saw remotely useful was a screwdriver next to an open electrical panel.

I pocket the screwdriver and make my way into the hall, flipping on my flashlight, then cross into the security room across from me. I look down and bend over to pick the discarded keyring up off the floor, then glance at the gun racks. Empty? Odd. I walk over to the desk, a destroyed computer sits atop it and an empty coffee cup next to the keyboard. A picture, paled from the elements, sits on the desk. The man from the photos above our home hugging his family. I blink slowly before walking away. "No more photos." I tell myself before turning around and grabbing it up and tossing it in my pack. No more memories.

I quickly leave the room and fast walk down the corridor, only barely glancing in each room as I pass it. "Empty." I say aloud as I peek in each room. "Empty." I walk faster, growing more and more frustrated. "Empty." I finally throw my head into the final room in the hall, "Em..." The word dies in my mouth as I spy a staircase going down is in here. I slowly blink before walking in and skipping down the stairs, expecting nothing; hoping for something.

I enter into a large open chamber. "Empty." I say with such a finality; I shouldn't be allowed to use it. It sounds too sure. As I turn to leave, something catches in the corner of my eye. A vault? Well it is a bank, so I'm not surprised to see a vault. But I'm surprised to see it only partially closed. I tilt my head before strutting over carefully. I nearly leave on impulse as the smell of rot assaults my nostrils, but the promise of death gives me the possibility of supplies.

Pushing the several ton door open is much too easy I think, the physics behind it probably explain why that's so but I never learned it. 'HELP US' is painted in a chipping brown substance on the inside of the vault door; I can assume what it was painted with fairly easily. Along the floor are various children's drawings. Some depict the sun and other random elements of a childish drawing. Which would be absolutely adorable if they weren't painted in the same brown as the door.

Something does not feel right about this at all, a part of me is telling the rest of me I should just leave now. Just close the door and leave, never come back. But then curiosity kicks in and I want to know more, I want to find something to go home with. So I tell that part of me to sit in the corner twiddling her thumbs.

Regret is the only thing I can feel when I catch sight of the skinned, rotting corpses around the corner of the larger-than-I-expected bank vault. They're arranged in a circle in the four-way of some shelves and racks, 'Around, around they go,' I read, slowly walking along the baked blood path of flowers and poems. 'Dancing for Little Rose.' I feel like I should be terrified right now, but my subconscious is telling me it's safe. Why? 'But why does Lil' Rose cry?' I bend and take up the bloodied, discarded toy doll from the floor. It feels familiar. Orange hair, purple dress and stockings, covered in brown flakes. I wander forward a bit more, then freeze. A rotting corpse is sitting in front of me, completely intact aside from the bullet wound to his skull. His security uniform is torn and filthy, and a hole is in his rotting skull. Next to his bloody, rotting hands is a short revolver.

I drop the familiar doll in my pack before I turn back to the man, 'Longarm' is studded on his name tag. I inch forward, terrified of the corpse for some distant reason I can't place. Creeping; lurching through the dark vault, I reach and grab up the revolver. Five shots. I catch the red blinking light on his radio out of the corner of my eye and shift in place. I then anxiously reach out and yank it from his shirt and flip it around. Rechargeable, but still has power. I have a crank charger for this back home I think. I put it on my pack and quickly back away from the man. I gulp and finally breathe out a silent wisp.

"Are you coming yet?" I feel her breathing down my neck. I throw my self forward and around, aiming the revolver behind myself. I take several panting breathes, my eye twitches.

"What the hell?!" I scream at nothing in front of me, waving my gun in a pale, empty threat to the influence who's toying with me. "What are you trying to accomplish by doing this to me?!"

As one could expect, I get no answer. I breath almost frantically for a moment before dropping my armed hand to my side and standing up like a civilized, totally not insane, person. I feel around my coat and find a pocket, where I stow the gun rather roughly before storming out of the vault. Then the rest of the building feels my wrath as I completely ignore it and stomp all the way outside like an angry child. I turn back to the bank one last time, about to rant to it. I point my finger at the building, my mouth open and the hurtful words in my mind, but I can only huff and puff; completely out of breathe.

I just drop my hand to my side. "Not worth it..." I mutter. I've begun talking to myself haven't I? I glance down the street further to the final building. A house. No, it's far too late, we will simply have to go tonight without much to eat. I turn around and begin to walk home.

"Hey!" I look to my right, following the voice dejectedly.

"Sunny?" I ask, completely dumbstruck. I stare at her from my position several dozen feet away. She smiles and waves me over before running off. "Wait!" I chase after her. She giggles loudly, the noise rings in my ears even over the roaring winds. I'm already exhausted as I barely start my run, "Slow down!" I yell through ragged breathes.

She skips to a stop and waves again before running around a corner. I grunt and toss a little more energy into my mad sprint around the corner. Gone. I pant, slowing to a still. I step forward slowly, then into the fallen door of the apartment building she led me to. "Sunny?" I call out, stepping over the rotten door, broken glass crunching underfoot. I look left, then right. There's a corpse behind the couch, and one in under the kitchen table, hugging a very, very small one to itself. I look away and wander inside and to the fridge. I nearly back up, it's humming.

There's still power in this building? I open the door, shuddering at the cold air that bellows out of it. Food. Tons and tons of food. Well that's an exaggeration, but it will last us a few days at least. The only issue is that it's quite a ways from home, but I could keep spoil-able food here for long periods of time, assuming the power doesn't cut off.

"Well… I hope we like pickles and tuna salad." I say, grabbing said items out of the fridge, among a few other things before closing it and starting on my way home, stowing the food in my pack to keep it safe.

* * *

 _Dear Journal,_

 _Today is the last day I will be expectantly safe for the next few days. Or weeks, depending on how dangerous the terrain has become in The Center. I have been debating to leave a will, but given that almost everyone I care about is going to be coming with me into The Center, and has the same chance of dying I do.. I feel that it is not necessary. Instead, I will leave you, my journal here in my home for any who decide to clear my home to view should I die._

 _On this page, which I shall leave open, I leave my last wants, in such a case I do not return. First and foremost, please do not view the rest of my journal. There will not be any real reason for you not to, I can see that, but… It would be the very last thing I had personal left in the living world, and I would like to keep at least one thing that is mine and only mine left here. And for all of my possessions? I will leave that to my friends(Applejack, Twilight Sparkle(and Princess Twilight), Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash) to decide, they may take or throw away whatever they want, I don't really care._

 _Except for one item. Under my mattress, there is a hole cut in it. I have left a box of letters and small items for each of my friends. I wish to give these to them whether I return or not. And… If some of the people who the letters are addressed to do not return, I leave them to the next friend by first name alphabetical order. She may share that letter with the others if she wishes, but perhaps some things are better left unsaid._

 _Forever,_

 _Sunset Shimmer_


	8. Mini-Chapter 3 - What You Deserve

When the great scholars and writers talk of Celestia, of them meeting with her, they always leave out one detail. Always. They tell you all about her beauty, about how powerful she is; her majesty. But they never speak of how inferior you feel beneath her gaze, how her very presence in the same building, nay the same hamlet can leave you feeling as though you were being suffocated; drowning even. It seems to be some unspoken rule

"Sunset Shimmer?" Her soft voice demands my attention to her concerned eyes and even softer smile; I'm hyperventilating as my small, foal legs knock against each other under my quivering body. "Are you alright?" Her tone is soft and comforting, but each syllable seems to make every bone in my body shudder.

Even though I feel like a lit candle in a hurricane, I nod. Her influence is like an oven to me, so much magic in one pony, it seeps out and seems to smother mine. The air itself shimmers and vibrates around her, leaving her to look like the morning sky: beautiful pale blue with stars winking away as the sun's rays drowns them. She raises from her crouched position and her wing extends several times my own body length before settling on my side.

Comfort. I can't help but gaze up at her in awe as my terror dies; forgotten. Somewhere deep in my mind, it titles her other than Princess, but the word elude me for now. She only nudges, barely even touches me, and I know to walk as she does. She's slowing herself down to a comfortable pace for me, "I take it the guards have been treating you well?" She asks me.

"Ye-" I swallow and cough; my throat is dry. "Yes they have been, Princess Celestia." I finally manage to say.

"Good, good." She smiles, turning her gaze forward as we enter the throne room, the center of the castle. The ceiling goes up nearly six or seven floors, large gold and marble arches curve up and twist around their siblings, then fall down as massive crystal chandeliers. "Welcome to Canterlot Castle, Sunset. This will be your home for the next few year."

I turn to gape at her, "Wait, wait, wait." I lean out of her embrace, waving my hooves in front of me, "I knew you were taking me as your personal student but… I'm going to live in the castle?" I sit on my haunches and gaze around.

She chuckles, "Of course. It wouldn't be very efficient to gather you from Manehatten every morning now would it?"

I shake my head, "Th-That's true..."

She chuckles. "Don't worry. Here, I'll show you to your room so you can get settled in." She offers her wing again, which I immediately huddle under. She then starts and I follow. Could I honestly be expected not to follow her? She is just awe-inspiring, just gives off an aura of safety; of grace. "When you're ready, I can personally show you around the castle if you wish."

"But Princess!" I gasp, "Surely you have something more important to do?" I stare up at her in shocked horror.

"Sunset, I took you on as my personal apprentice." She says slowly as I nod, "Did you think that meant I would load you off every time I had a little paperwork to do?" She laughs a little. I blush and start to stutter out a reply, but she quickly adds one last thing. "And quite honestly, I hate all that stuffy paperwork." She tilts her head and gives me a smirk and a wink.

I stare up at her for a moment before giggling. She soon joins in and we continue down the hall, laughing like old friends.

* * *

"Celestia?" I call out, not entirely sure of myself. She looks up from her desk, "Can we talk in private for a moment?" I request.

She nods to the guards, "Yes Sunset? Is something wrong?"

I nod and take a seat across from her. "As a matter of fact, yes. It involves my current assignment actually." She perks an eyebrow and I continue. "I don't understand it's purpose. It seems very wasteful and pointless to send me to find friends when you could be teaching me something far more important or useful." She takes a slightly deeper breath as she sits her quill down, staring blankly at me. I decide to just be blunt, "I don't believe I _need_ any friends, Celestia. Not right now at the very least."

"Sunset," Her stern tone takes me off guard almost, "I know you do not understand the importance of this assignment. And I can't tell you it's importance until a long while. But I want you to put your trust in me, I'm your teacher and I know what's best for you to learn. Do you understand that?" I nod slightly, "Then trust me when I say that friends? True friends? They're exactly what you need right now."

I inwardly roll my eyes and scoff, but on my exterior I smile and nod. "Okay." I force the cheerfulness into my tone.

She nods back as she levitates her quill back up, "Good. Now if that's all, I was in the middle of a very important letter to the griffon queen discussing a possible agreement between our nations. I don't expect anything immediate, it might take another ten or twenty years to really make any true progress, but..." She looks at the letter again.

I nod, "Of course. I won't bother you any longer." I say with another smile, backing out of her office again. I nod to the guards again, and return to my room again. Again, she has delegated me away to some useless task while she shoves her muzzle under a mountain of paperwork which she at one time claimed to hate. My hoofs clack louder on the marble floor than I intend, with each step growing louder still. But I don't care. I'm too angry to care.

I deserve bette

* * *

"NO!" I screech, catching my long time 'mentor' off guard. "I will not calm down! I will not listen to this manure!" I stomp both forelegs on the ground, the clap echoing the office like thunder.

"Sunset, what has gotten-"

"What has gotten into me?" I ask incredulously, "Into me?" I say quietly with a small, slivering smile. I turn around the room, circling around back to her, laughing just a little. "What has 'gotten into me' is you sending me away to this little town in the middle of Equis knows where to make friends." I frown, the words slipping from my lips like poison. "What has 'gotten into me'," I reiterate, my voice deeping into a hiss, "Is you sending me away to the smallest little shit-hole of a town you could find, like I'm your shameful little mistake." My eye twitches, "What has 'gotten into me'," I start yell, "Is how mistreated I am! I deserve better! I deserve-"

"What you deserve the right to shut your mouth." She suddenly interrupts my rant, her influence washing over me like hellfire. A cold chill shudders down my spine and I nearly fall on my flanks. "I don't know what has caused you to act this way, but I assure you, you will not be getting what you want by throwing a tantrum."

She rises from her desk and I'm immediately reminded just how tiny I am. I want to run. "And this has not brought you any closer to being finished with your assignment. In fact, the only thing this has accomplished is concreting my assumption that you need friendship aside from the reason I already intended."

She strides towards me, but for all my fear, she could be lunging at me like a raging manticore. "Sunset Shimmer… I don't even know what to say to you." She sighs, closing her eyes as she looks away from me. "I didn't intend to postpone a meeting with the royal committee to listen to a child throw a tantrum, but you managed to accomplish ruining my intentions on that matter fairly quickly." She opens her eyes and stares past me. I want to hide, I want to go home and hide under my bed and cry for mommy, I want- She walks past me without sparing another glance, "Go home to Ponyville, Sunset, and do not come back here whining about your assignment again."

I can only gallop out of her office in utter terror. I run past her, without another word between us. I run down the halls of Canterlot castle until I reach my wing of the castle. I throw myself through the door, barring it with my magic while looking around frantically. Where is it? Where did I put that book? Ah! I find the book under a copy of foals tales, the cover said something about the mare in the moon or something like that.

I hold the book from my childhood close to myself, shuddering and wrapping my hooves around it as I tried desperately to calm myself. I can still feel her influence, I can still feel her anger. It's blazing through me like the spite of the queens themselves. I soon manage to catch my breath, and soon after I catch my mind from it's mad dash of fear. I tear my hooves from the old book, quickly tucking it away in my saddlebag.

I gallop out onto the balcony and take a few last minute breaths. I bring a hoof to my heart, closing my eyes. I search for the distant items I require. I can feel them brush against my minds reach and I call for the words. Those distant words, almost forgotten but never gone. My magic blazes and my emergency items flash into existence before me. I stuff them into my saddlebag without a thought; without even looking at each item.

I steady myself and my mind, searching through my rationality. Am I really going to do this?

Yes. I will give myself what I deserve, I will give myself better. "I will be better." I say aloud with finality before galloping full speed from my old home.


	9. NOTICE

Marked for rewrite, please read: After writing Pulse, and then it's sequel Apathy, I feel I have improved a lot in terms of writing quality. So I've decided to entirely rewrite this after finishing some of my smaller stories and half finished ideas. I'm sorry for the few people who like this as it is.


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